The love shack

Over the years of being girlfriend of my ‘cute farmer boy’ (ten to be precise) I spent a lot of time divided between the big city where I worked and my mum and dad’s house.  But my weekends were mainly spent with my ‘cute farmer boy’ on his farm.  (Luckily he lived only about 10km away from my family).  He was born a farmer and loves farming, so I knew if  ‘my cute farmer boy’ did eventually ask me to marry him there would be no surprises for me.  We would be living on a farm.

Yes. Whoop Whoop. He proposed. Finally.  ‘Cute farmer boy ‘always told me he was getting married when he was 27 years old. So that is what happened. He had a plan and stuck by it. At 26 years of age ‘cute farmer boy’ proposed to me. I don’t know why I was surprised, the timing was about right. When I finally understood what he was asking me I obviously said ‘Yes’. I was very happy but still surprised. So was everyone else we knew.

As soon as we were engaged I quit my job in the big city and said goodbye to my cute little flat and my girlfriends. I got a job in a town nearby and I moved in with my ‘fantastic farmer fiancee’.  This was what I had been dreaming about. I loved the little farm house we were living in. I was looking forward to the peace of the country. I had lots of friends who lived in the area as I was already spending most of my weekends there. I was ready for the change.

Well it wasn’t as easy as I thought.  It was hard. What was wrong with me?   I had a leisurely 20 minute drive to work with no traffic; a good job with nice workmates. I knew lots of  people, I had a fantastic fiancee who I could see every day.  I was in love and I loved being out on the farm.  BUT  I didn’t realise how much I missed the big city lights and the conveniences. I missed the service stations that were open 24/7 so that when you needed chocolate after dinner you could drive there in your p.j’s with your girlfriends.  I missed the supermarkets being open on Sunday’s and after 5.30 pm.  I missed Dvd rental shops, Shoe shops, Clothes shops,  Pubs, Taxis and Buses. I missed my girlfriends who I lived with and the others who were either next door or 5 minutes away.  I missed them all. To top it all off my ‘fantastic farmer fiancee’ did not have a secret stash of chocolate anywhere!!!

It came to a head one night as I was waiting for my ‘fantastic farmer fiancee’ to get home.    It was later than normal and there was no way I could contact him (no mobile phones). All I could do was to wait.  Alone at home.  Where was he?? No idea. I was worried something had gone wrong. Had the car broken down? Had he had an accident? Hit a kangaroo?  I waited.  I was in a state.  I was imagining him dead in a car crash. I was worried and upset and felt helpless. Do I go for a drive and see if I can find him or stay at home in case someone rings? I waited.

He got home, very late and in one piece. No accident, he was perfectly fine. I was so relieved but then I was mad because he didn’t let me know he was going to be late. We had a big fight. Someone uttered “If this is what it is like being married then I don’t think it will work” or something like that. I was frustrated and emotional and he was just frustrated.  For the last 9 years we had been in a long distance relationship.  We were both independent and neither of us were used to being accountable to someone every day of the week.  After a big discussion and lots of tears from me my ‘fantastic farmer fiancee’ said some very wise words.  He told me “I love you and I am here for you, but you know that it is also OK to go and see your girlfriends and talk to them if you are worried about things.”  Such a wise man. Communication is so important.

It was all new to me. Women or men, we all need our friends, mates and girlfriends to talk to. Today and every day since then I have been so thankful for all of my girlfriends, but especially my neighbours ‘best buddy girlfriends’ who have got me through many ups and downs. All of my girlfriends are angels. Where would we be without them? My girlfriends have seen my tears, laughter, frustration, joy and every emotion you can think of. I can share my concerns and my joys and they understand. Sometimes you don’t even have to talk. I know it is a two way street but I can never thank them enough.

So after that little hiccup the ‘fantastic farmer fiancee’ did become my ‘handsome farmer husband’ and we lived happily ever after. Just like in the fairy tales. Sort of. Then when you add in four children, running a farm and other trials and tribulations, it is as close as you will get. Life is what you make of it.

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